The head and the heart are bound to collide—when they do—the dynamics of wisdom and knowledge will arrange themselves as a single fundamental being. The strength from this force alone will create waves in an ocean of synergy. Synergy is when the totality of the effect is greater than the sum of the individual effects. Synergy is the unseen dynamic that nourishes the energy of the aura with positive reinforcement. And the ambient light of life flickers on. Again.
Synergy allows us the ability to distinguish between the genuine ghost of goodness with the empirical envy of evil. It is hard for the fallen man to see synergy for what it’s worth. Synergy is simplistic in nature but complicated in thought. The essence of synergy is to see that salvation is a two-way street—when the divinity of grace and free will—come to a head on said street, they will stop, shake each other’s hand and walk together towards that everlasting Promised Land.
I like to feel synergy with what it is. It is a cycle of positivity, and is in no way a vicious cycle, the latter being rigged with the interests of singular gain. Synergy is the emergence of a supportive system that gives for the greater good of the element’s social atmosphere. It allows for positive growth to occur in a complete and organic sense. It is a collective effort by a system to give the element the energy it needs to provide the well-being it must nurture. The element will then apply a new energy to the system; this energy is one that endorses a regeneration of goodness.
Synergy will most often deploy its hidden potential in our daily routines because the wholeness of its parts can only benefit from the presentation of a new system. It is synergy that can only produce the phenomenon mentioned in the prior sentence. It is the phenomenon of synergy that introduces us to the benefactor of constructive Karma, that being ourselves. Synergy is the structure of the sentence that built the Golden Rule. I will touch more on Karma and the Golden Rule later on down this path of words I call my own.
If it goes around, does it come back around? If I were playing Tetherball, then I would have an absolute answer, but we aren’t, so please allow me another couple hundred of words to figure it out.
I believe that if it does go around, it will indeed come back around at some point. It’s written in the stars, applied in mathematics, mapped out in geography, translated in religion, and it’s dissected in science. It is the circle of life. Within said circle though there is an empty space, or a void, and there always has been.
Every circle has its own void and some have a plethora of voids, i.e. the circle of politics. I did not partake in snuggling up next to political science, so I am not at liberty to discuss politics this evening. Feel free to use your imagination as to the direction of my stance on the circular motions of the political state. I am not one to waste my words on that sector any longer. Lest we forget that everything is subject to change. Back to the void.
These voids are the cause for those cycles that take a turn for the vicious. It is in these voids where joy is suffocated by suffering, while the spirit and the soul become unconcerned with the other’s wellness. It is unfortunate that this negative energy is in the realm of all that is natural and happens in the biological sense to all organisms. This therefore, can have derogatory effects on the element and negative feelings force themselves upon the system, only to weaken the element. The element is immune to almost everything that comes at it from an outlying threat, but it is very receptive to the inlaying infections of certain systems that irritate and manipulate the mass and the aura of the whole being.
Lucky for us, this void can be overcame and filled with the same air of progression that any healthy and flourishing system shares towards the provisions of the greater good for the element. All the while, allowing it the opportunity to thrive in its own existence once again. Think of it in the holistic sense, if you would? It is the nature of the element to heal from within and without nonnative agents and their so-called healing powers.
When we walk to the edge of existence, we begin to really feel that we are apart of something greater than we can ever fathom. We turn to look back at the world from this higher plane of being and see a fractured element that is broken into meaningless parts, waiting to be sold for scraps to the highest bidder. As heartbreaking as it is, all I can do is use it as motivation to make the world a better place. Pack it in, pack it out, we all have to share the responsibility of leaving the system better for those left to inhabit it. Am I correct?
I believe that I am not the only one that feels this same way. Which is exactly what we need. When the masses start contemplating with a collective effort what it will take to restructure the foundation of us, well that’s when the supernatural power of synchronicity starts to add into the equation. This synch is what pulls us back from the edge, more in tune with ourselves than ever before, and even more in tune with those whom we are lucky enough to share this existence with. It is the synchronicity that fills the void. Once that void is filled, the element cannot be penetrated by the vicious attacks of the cancerous system anymore.
It’s this division of the parts that is the simplest to put back together with the tool of compassion. As easy as that sounds, there is more to it. What that is, I have a good idea and it is in the essence of synergy that we must create something new that will allow the destabilized element to sparkle in the synch of a certain Kingdom’s sunshine once again.
The synergy in the air, when I step outside, although I can’t see it, I can feel it. There is something pulling me towards that eternal light, something is driving me to write these words out of thin air. When I say pulling, it should be mentioned that it is in no way an issue of control—which doesn’t exist in the jurisdiction of free will. It is so plain and simple yet so damned complicated.
I would like to say that it belongs to the beauty of balance, but I often question myself about my own balance or lack thereof. So is balance really it? Who knows? Life is full of paths, some lead to suffering and some lead to happiness but they are always littered with distraction. Even in those incremental moments of joy, we are often tense with what is going to happen next that will lead us to suffering, this is no way to live life. There is no such thing called life when lived in constant crisis.
I have learned that when you are not so focused on the future and you have learned how to detach yourself from the past, that’s when everything that you seek figures itself into the equation of you.
You are the equation of being, and the wholeness of your being is greater than the sum of all of your ridged and beautiful parts.
After all, 2 + 2 = 5.
Pardon my French, (Sorry Mom) I fucking love this song. It’s borderline compulsive how much I have listened to it in the past few days. Godspeed everyone.
Daybreak squeezes the darkness out of midnight, whilst the horizon awakens from its starry slumber. The map of meaning that is spackled to the empty sky flickers on and off as the morning sun bathes the valley with a showing of bravado. If there is ever a moment that I find myself stuck in forever, I shall just fall behind and let the path unwind and allow my steps to carry me back to this very morning.
When stuckness situates within me, I must choose to allow serenity the opportunity to stretch it limbs. For serenity can lessen the pressure on the valve of apprehension with time. When it does, a hiss of hope summons an inspired posture. An effervescent burst of ingenuity fills the champagne kissed air with the color of persistence…
…and that is how I guess one can fight off a brief dust-ridden wind from the drought of written thought…
As much as I blame the “block”, I may be remiss to agree to disagree with said self-diagnosis. You could chalk bits and pieces of my extended absence up to a mild case of festive laziness. I must mention that I also started a new job. It was time to get my ass back to where I belong. I belong to an organization called Chaos, and it is my unusual ability to be able to organize and portray a calming demeanor in the chaotic sector of the culinary industry that will always pull me back into the rough waters of constant commotion. This ability is both my blessing and my curse. The decision to go back and swim with the big fish was a tough one. And while ego tried to play the pied piper it was my confidence that led me towards the light of something new. The newness of experience is bliss in limbo.
So instead of reflecting on the past year, I have had my sights pointed in the direction of adapting and promoting myself to the garden of well being. Instead of making myself empty promises, the soul and I have discussed that we would like to instead contribute to Twenty Greateen with nothing other than the novelty of experience. You see life is all about experience, nothing is learned when experience goes stagnant. Life is repetitive enough, in order to generate the excitement of life, one must create through the channels of reverence.
It may take a revolution of reverence to get me where I need to go, but for now I have to catch this train while I still have some daylight. It’s a train that I can’t miss because it’s a one-way trip to an outpost of thought that I first visited this time last year. I am no longer walking awry on the eggshells of fear. It is not in my nature to always do what others think I should do, it is in my nature to do what I think is best for me. Nor will I always choose the safest routes—consider me warned—but they are the routes I choose. It is my train of thought that keeps me in check and leads me astray, and I would never have it any other way. After all isn’t experience, either good or bad, the greatest wealth one can achieve?
Life is a circle and so it is the going, not the getting there, that makes all the difference. A year ago, this blog came to life by me visiting my own Creative Outpost. In the time that has passed, I have struggled to find balance in my message, let alone myself. I have a balance about me that can sometimes even me out, but sometimes I feel that ole villain-like vertigo digging for my dizziness and juggling between my disoriented spirit and my soul. I have learned that the best way to achieve balance most days is with a rant in my pocket and a trick up my sleeve. Sometimes though we have to go to by the wayside and swallow our pride. Then we can stand right back up from our fallen stance and invite vertigo to experience the dance.
The spirit of ego moonlights as a self-inflicted wound. A wound that must be tended to, but in the sense of irony, the wound of ego will never heal. Unless? We manage to replace the self-interest of ego with confidence in the respect of reverence. Then and only then, we can see the mockery hidden in the definition of reverence. Reverence belongs to a community—it is a collective feeling of euphoria—that only gets stronger with the confidence of man. It must be noted though that when confidence and ego find themselves in such close proximity to one another the magnetic field forces a negative reaction engrained in the philosophy of segregation. When these two feed off of each other in the dimmed light of negative feedback they push the other away with a force somewhat explained, yet widely misunderstood by mankind.
It is in this same void of synchronicity that dizzies the head of a man into a barbaric spin and beckons him to Fall. Such is life without experience. It is through experience that we gain knowledge. And through the knowledge of experience we begin to synch with the wisdom of reverence. When we begin to examine the lost art of reverence we see that it demands to be treated as an ideal and the feelings of awe, respect, and shame must be treated exactly as they feel, as long as they balance each other out. Too much awe for one’s self is written with vanity in the agenda of arrogance. Too little awe, for instance, in the majesty of heaven’s harmony in nature, and one cannot begin to believe in the beauty of basic human endowment.
The spirit of ego carries around a lot of emotional waste and this always indicates itself as dramatic. The ego plays the isolator in it’s own narration of its distorted reality. Ego strangles the genuine reality that surrounds it, therefore allowing it to thrive in its own fantasy of bullshit. So would that mean that my ego is isolating itself as the motive for my writing? That should give you something to chew on for a while. I do not believe it to be, but that could be my ego talking?
The spirit of confidence floats around willing to help wherever his knowledge is needed. Confidence is the farthest thing away from arrogance. Confidence believes what the collective thinks, while the ego festers in its own thought and it own stubborn ways. What if confidence is wisdom and the ego, knowledge? Confidence shares its proficiency to solve the problem while the ego calls the solution its own, born from the problem it creates. It is confidence that carries a collective coalition and one complicated ego can destroy it all. Could it be that confidence is reverence, and isn’t it reverence that humiliates the ego? In the end, it is the spirit of confidence that makes a mockery in the face of self-absorbtion.
So in short, sorry for the delay. The job I took will eventually allow me more time to create and it is my hope to be able to strengthen the consistency of this blog and its message. It wasn’t my intent or purpose to run astray with this post, sometimes it just happens that way. I felt it was necessary to grease the so called wheels of my imagination. Thank you for managing to make it this far.
The heaviest set things that fill our minds are the ones that are most often misunderstood and they are better left that way. It’s in the misunderstanding of confusion that suffocates the lightness of our being. The sooner we begin to understand the lack of weight that we carry around—our thoughts of things that hold no authority over us—the sooner we get around to the gist of life and what it is we are meant to do. It is wise to promise yourself that instead of chewing on the past until it becomes flavorless, one must spit it out and cherish the flavor that it once was. But we are all human and it is in our nature to break promises. One of the things that have often left me confused is love, and even though the light of love is carried in my namesake, I am often left burdened by the weight it bears in my chest.
It has never been of use to disturb the balance between a promise and the lack of guarantee. This is often achieved in the being of noncommittal. It is the poise of weight and the composure of lightness that serve each other with the same ambiguity as that of the committee called wisdom and knowledge. These elements need their polarizing opposite to give stability to their existence. Much like love is filthy with the residue of lust, certain things cannot exist without the contrast of their counterpart, if they did try and exist without the other, they would, over time lose their personality and be divided into the separate categories of myth and that, which is authentic. And we would be left here to debate over which one held more worth over the other or better yet, which was right and which was wrong. When constant debate begins to arise in every corner of our daily routine, that is when the line between fantasy and reality blurs past the point of sharpness and the focus of reality is lost in the wilderness of fantasy.
When one starts to struggle with the differentiating of fantasy and reality, they become oblivious to their own existence and focus on the endless pleasure of excessive fabrication. One should be more inclined to “let oneself go” and drift with the current of indifference and maintain an inner distance from the mad dance of accelerated advances. All this mayhem in the sector of the libido boosting gadgets is nothing more than an exploding non-substantial production of facades, which have no concern with the kernels of our being. Our being is built upon the mystic spell of love and therefore love seems to concern itself with the foundation of being.
Love is something that exists in both fantasy and reality, which is why our heart and mind often bicker back and forth about what is real and what is pure fantasy. Love can drive us mad and love can set us free. Love is what we want and something we don’t always need. There is something tragic about love itself and not just in its conflict with the temporal transitions of our social environment. Love contains an eternal tragic element that is connected with death. It is only in the deepest depth of love when the obstacles of society are no longer in the way of true love. Tragedy arises when our bliss becomes aware of the conflict of values that constantly take place between the value of love and the value of freedom, or the value of divine perfection, or when one must defend the god-like image of man which is connected with love, though sometimes love can be a danger to it. This is when we begin to notice that enmity is disclosed in the depths of love. Too often people are afraid to open their hearts out of wrong instincts, false fears of society, false beliefs, and this is what prevents the possibility of true intercommunion. They instead look to themselves and this is when lust begins to thrive in the absence of love. Man is often poisoned by atavistic terrors and liberating one’s self from them does prove to be a great moral task—it brings not only joy—but also new tragedy.
It is love that desires personality and therefore love wincingly desires division. In this division of love we begin to find out more about ourselves the further we travel down the highway of spirituality. We begin to contemplate the value of what we are worth and walk towards the light of death without worrying about our self-placed value as much as we worry about stabilizing the mystical force of love for those we hope to be fortunate enough to witness the longevity of the future and the existence of love.
Love cannot be just a means to salvation and redemption. Love is the creation of a new life. Love cannot be abstractly spiritual, blind to the concreteness of personality as a whole. Love must embrace both the spirit and the soul and be the foundation of these two principles. If the principle of spirit is abstract and isolates itself from the soul, the soul cannot give rise to love for a living being. Love means the descent of the spirit into the body and soul. The nature of the spirit must bring light and wholeness into the life of a soul. This is what gives meaning and connection to everything. Without the spiritual principle, the life of the soul shatters into disconnected and meaningless experiences and the personality of love disintegrates into nothingness.
Abstract, anemic and impersonal spiritual love, that takes no cognizance of the soul, is not love at all—it is cruel and fanatical—albeit inhumane. It is love for an idea and not for a living being. Those who believe in the love of an idea, say that is the love for God, which is higher than love for man. Wouldn’t this mean that God is conceived as an abstract idea in the name of which men are sacrificed? But God does not demand human sacrifice, He demands that love for Him is the same as love for man and mercy for all living creatures, but there is no mercy in massacre.
It is of the nature of humans to love naturally instead of spiritually. Natural human love is fragmentary, mixed with passion and desire that distort the true meaning of love. It often prevents us from seeing another’s personality as a whole and directing our feeling upon it. This natural love is often impotent because it is unenlightened and partial, spoiled by selfish ways and bound by the strivings that are contrary to the meaning of love. It is spoiled by jealousy, which positions love towards the realm of idolatry, where the love of an idea of love carries more clout than the spirit of love. Spiritual love is not meant to squander natural love, but to transform, enlighten, and strengthen it with a spiritual force that applies wholeness and meaning to that of love.
Natural love leads to the adoration of a creature or that of an idea and both of these bear evil fruits. All men and women are blessed with the ability to love all of creation with a creative and enlightened love so as to realize righteousness in this world. The gift of love is given from the grace of God.
But is there such a thing as love of ideas, of values, of truth, of injustice, of beauty, of science, of art, and so forth? This is most difficult question wrapped in the gift of love. Love of ideas and values, of truth, of goodness and beauty, is merely the unconscious and imperfect expression of the love for God and the divine. One ought to love God more than man, and the love of God ought to give us all the strength to love man.
We must not love only the divine in man, only the truth, goodness and beauty in him, i.e. only the valuable content of his personality : we must love the human as well, be merciful to the actual living being, love him for nothing. It is called compassion, something that modern day society has seemed to misplace on the road to redemption. It is up to us to keep compassion for all of creation, wrapped with hope under the tree of spirit and joy.
It is considered a rule to stray away from the over-populated presence of a cliché when writing. It must be noted that I have never been the type of person that easily conforms to the authoritative shape of things. This cliché is one that is often used when stuck in a moment of duress carrying either an inward or outward manner of negative matter. It was Neitzsche that coined this so-called cliché dipped in philosophical sugar. Ultimately it was Neitzsche who found a case of Syphilis in his later years. This took a great toll on his mind and body, which eventually killed him. After his death his work was warped and wrapped into the repulsive propaganda of Nazi Germany. We will not hold Neitzsche responsible for the evilistic empire that whitewashed common knowledge for an evil and despotic agenda.
Change is habitually referred to as a difference in certain state of affairs at different points in time. Change has been so overanalyzed with a thousand and one different theoretical approaches that it cannot be nailed down by the hammer of thought because it is a perpetual force that constantly changes. Go figure, right. Change is in fact, a nonstatic entity that proves how powerful it is by exerting its elasticity through momentum.
This is one of the reasons why I have become so enveloped in seeing myself through the inward developments that are evolving within me. This is why I have clawed through this so-called crisis with the purpose of becoming a better person. Change is as deep as an ancient river and as beautiful as the morning sun peeking over a snow-capped mountain. Change is inevitable, change is the nature of thought and thought is the spark that lights the way for creative process. We are in a continuous state of change and we can change the shape of the future by creating the world in which we live.
It is often in the deepest depths of despair when the light of love’s progression shines brightest through the crack of wretchedness. Then come joy and gladness, making their presence felt with more resolve than ever before. I must admit that it is hard to see virtue in the ability to stand up to the onslaught of life but once we have weathered the storm it becomes easier to accept the transition of suffering and grow into the warriors of hope and redemption that awaits us within an alleviated moment branded by felix culpa.
Felix culpa is an expression of Latin origin that translates to “fortunate fall”. With change having its roots in felix culpa one can begin to understand that change is paradoxical in nature because it takes an unfortunate event and spins it around until all that is left are the fortunate consequences that were overshadowed by misfortune. The concept of felix culpa is rooted in the redemption of humanity through resurrection. It is at the center of reason in the continuous battle of good and evil. Felix culpa is as attendant upon individualistic nature as it is identical to that of universalistic tendency. One must understand the delicate touch that the winds of change grace us all with at the heights of crisis and what it takes to once again find the finesse that follows each and every event that affects us in one way or the other.
Each and every one of us manufacture our own mess but it is in our ability to keep it together that makes us all so beautiful in our own little mechanical way. I have already manufactured my own mess that I hope will create a ripple of love across a pond called the universe and leave a scar of hope on each and every one of you.
My mess, in reality, began during the turbulence of adolescence. It all started when I first felt the bliss of love, and intensified when that love found itself lost. Before the great unknown called heartbreak, I was an above average student advancing steadily faster than those on my same level. Then came heartbreak followed by the glory years of bad decision-making that shadowed the limitless search of never-ending bliss through the choice of partaking in the mind-expanding substance of love.
As soon as I first felt the splintering pain of a puppy love lost, I jumped. I jumped right into the deepest of ends of the river called youth—without any hesitation as to what the causes may have been from the effects of my decision. I turned my head in the opposite direction of authority while staring freedom in the face. In the symbolic sense of my own written accord—I blazed my own trail up the mountain of life and I’ve done it with love in mind ever since. At some point though a crisis arises that puts everything we have ever believed on the back burner of life, we should be fortunate enough to have the wolf awakened within us all.
Most recently there was an event that has been significant in the shape of who I am. It is where the inspiration for the title of this particular post spawned. It is the catalyst that finally changed me. It all happened in August of 2016. I was the Executive Chef of a dilapidated casino in Northern Nevada. Life was good; my marriage was in somewhat good working condition, bills were payed and money was being saved. Then one Friday afternoon—it was the first Friday night I had off in a long time—I got off of work and went to pick my son up from daycare only to find that in the care of another, his leg had been broken.
Now I know that this doesn’t seem like a significant trauma and while it isn’t for me, it broke my heart to see him in such agonizing pain at a mere two and a half years old. My heart was so heavy and distraught that it erased the scars from the past events that had been significant in the shaping of who I was. It beat me down to my core and I felt guilty because before this moment I hadn’t been present really at all in his life. It was in this moment that I first learned the true meaning of love. Before this event, I was always working—in the ballpark of 60 plus hours a week and if I wasn’t working I was in the bar, shedding the leftover adrenaline and anxiety from the capacities of my own self-worth. I wasn’t a good father by those standards set in place by societal influence or I just wasn’t aware of how deeply I loved my son.
Shortly after this happened, I quit my job and took one that hardened the ease of financial stability. It is a job that allows me the ability to spend quality time with him each and every day. I took to my passion of writing again, something that hadn’t accompanied me since my youth. I guess all in all, it has been a blessing that stems from the smallest amount of suffering that has coerced me back onto the train of purpose and given me the confidence to believe in myself again.
It must also be noted that there was another significant event that occurred last November that has made its presence felt on a universal scale. This event is as polarizing as it is paradoxical. This event is not something that I am going to dive into today, because today doesn’t feel like a day that wants to dress itself up in the bullshit of politics. I have instead chosen to wear my optimistic clothes and dress myself in the evidence of rational thought. This event is something that damn near drove me to the brink of insanity a year ago, along with some other self-critical thoughts. Now I understand though that I am not the one that is insane, it is just the exuberance of the herd that has lost its grip on the ethical stance of reality. This is another reason why I suddenly changed my entire thought process and allowed the wisdom within the wilderness of me to take over my being. It is the catalyst that sparked the change in my heart and it will cauterize within yours as well, this much I can promise.
It was exactly a year ago when I was stuck in a phase of fear and my wife told me that if it bothered me so much then do something about it. It was fifteen minutes later that I picked up this pen with the intention of doing something about it. A year later—what didn’t kill me has only made me stronger and with every breath I take and every word I write I become more of who I am supposed to be.
In retrospect, I now understand the importance of felix culpa and the fact that maybe things really do happen for a reason and that reason typically involves us becoming more aware of ourselves and our own boundaries or lack thereof. There is a solution that must be applied to the topical substances that coerce humanity into the corner of fear, and it must be applied thrice daily in the area of change and new beginnings built on the foundation of forgiveness and love.
You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.
-Be Love
Today marks the 15th year that I officially called Lake Tahoe home and it is also the day that I posted my first blog post exactly one year ago. Thank you all for taking the time and being a part of me.