When Stuck In Life

The older I get the more I am coming to understand that life is just a chain reaction of events. All that has happened in my life is a direct result of something that has happened prior to that. It is important to remember that this includes my thoughts, desires and choices. The logic behind this is that things like choice and will power, even though they do exist, they are nothing more than the consequences of what I have been through beforehand.

It is in the cultivation of coincidence that reality rises above fear and fantasy inches closer to reality than one ever dreamed. It is through reason that we can’t allow ourselves to detach from the past. I first started to understand this a couple of weeks ago. I was stuck. I had no creative motivation whatsoever. I wasn’t willing to let go of the past as much as I liked to lead on.

It was in this state of stuckness that I did what I thought was the reasonable thing to do and evaluated my process with the rigidity of classical thought. Why was I not able to finish this or that? I had done my due diligence on the research and there I was still stuck. I had so many ideas running through my head that I couldn’t descend from one message to the next. All this process did was stress me out even more; I was so stressed that I couldn’t think straight.

Finally after a couple of hours, I got up from the desk and walked away, with little to no thought about what I should write, I felt like giving up and I did, in every sense of the phrase. I threw reason by the wayside.  I had to detach myself from all of the past ideas that I felt were worth writing about. I woke my child from his nap and we went for a hike to explore a new experience.

As we talked and laughed about childish things, we came upon a river where he was more than happy to throw rocks into—without much thought—for hours on end. The serenity in this maneuver alone got the momentum flowing. The water was curving at a crawl and I decided to pick up a few flattened stones and weave them across the ripples of this river. He has seen me do this numerous times but hadn’t yet quite developed the motor skills to actually make the stone skip across the water. This time around it was my goal to be patient and allow his creative process the time it needed to come around.

This time around I shared with him the knowledge of how to skip a stone with the angle in which you release the stone and the follow through which one must achieve to get the rock to spin. It must be noted that follow through is one of the most critical aspects in every facet of life. He slid the rock out of his hand at a slight angle and the stone skipped gently across the water. He was so ecstatic and happy that it almost brought me tears.

The romantic parallel of thinking came rushing over me like a river. It skipped across me like the stone he just threw, it skipped passed my creative process, followed by a few times across my heart and then it sunk directly into the soul of me. In the metaphorical sense, I was the river and he was the stone.

It was in the moment of stuckness that the solution to my problem seemed so very important, it was reasoned to sit back and stew on the problem.  Then as I thought about it more this stuckness when allowed time, will assume its true importance, the importance of figuring itself out. In the rigid evaluation I made, it seemed like a gargantuan matter. Maybe it was, but by allowing my mind to be stuck in the place it was without overthinking, well that was when the problem started to become more and more diminutive. The less my mind thought about it, the more my mind let go of reason and it started to move freely and naturally towards the resolution. The lesson learned is that stuckness need not be sidestepped because it is the precursor of total understanding.

It is when I took a different approach towards a new avenue of experience that my creative wheels started rolling again. It was in this moment that I started to understand things and see things with more clarity that I finally understood what it felt like to be a teacher. In my profession, I find it easy to be a teacher, but it takes a lot of work to allow that to translate over into your own personal life. I guess maybe sometimes we do ignore our own premise of self-growth and put all of that focus on the burner of our professional career.

What I learned from this experience is that if you can’t explain something in a way that even a child could understand, it is because you do not fully understand what you are talking about. The greatest teachers are able to convey complex messages with ease. Poor teachers cannot accomplish this and it would be wise to realize that they must become students first.

And that is exactly what we all are; we are all students of life, figuring this thing out as we go. Some of us yearn to learn, some of us give in to all of the distractions of life, but we will always find ourselves stuck at some point or another, and it will not do you any good to become frustrated in that stuckness, instead ride it like the wave it is and you’ll see the beauty that follows, all you need to do is allow time and patience their deserved chance at making the problem disappear.

You must suffer at playing the fool before you become the master, because if you cannot explain it to a fool, you are not a master.

BeLove © 2018


Finding Finesse In A Crisis v.2

It feels so good to get lost when going in the right direction.

The life of this blog has been full of arbitrary antics. It has also been quite good at challenging itself with fact from fiction at times. I have to remind myself often that any effort ridden with self-glorification as its destination is bound to end with a tragedy. The ego is a muscle that flexes its chiseled arrogance in the direction of distinction.

I would like you all to understand that this passion of mine was never about infamy or wealth. It was about me wanting to share my theoretical views with the world. It was about me finally doing something in my life that I had always dreamed of doing. It has always been my way of finding finesse in a crisis.

The other day as I was sitting at a stoplight that was rather inconsistent with its pattern. I’ll call it the stoplight of thought. I had a moment of severe impatience and out of nowhere something clicked in my head. It was a click that I hadn’t felt since the end of 2016. It was like some pineal shaped pinecone had fallen directly on top of my thinking cap. It was at this stoplight of thought, that I realized that my intentions were not what I intended them to be.


My intentions were leaning into the classical train of thought. This is the thought process that is analytically obsessive. The inspiration of this blog was built with the bells and whistles necessary for the romantic train of thought to thrive. This is the thought process that takes the chaos from the classical process and creates new boulevards of artistic beauty.

This blog was supposed to be layered with an abstractive point of view. Through the ups and downs of my daily sideways routine, I feel as though the consistency of this blog paid a heftier price than I did, being that it distracted you the reader from actually accumulating the message with ease. Lest we forget that I am Me and I have always wandered around with a prankster mentality. Could it be possible that refried confusion has been my theme all along?

One of the concealed bullet points of this crisis that has enveloped me for a while, is the fact that I am anxious as to what the future holds for our children. Technology has been swelling at such a rapid rate that I am frightened that the hope for humanity may already be eroded past the point of purpose.

The panorama of consciousness is being tilled with chaos from every corner of mechanical greed. Is what terrifies me most is that a significant portion of our society is not conscious of the serious threat that the technological sector poses to the well-being of humanity. Technology has become such a burden on us that it is slowly taking over our lives. What we once carried control over now controls us.

I would like to clear the air about my own feelings of technology; sometimes my opinion gets taken out of context by my own words.

The word technology is spawned from the Greek words techne and logos. Techne means art or skill, or the means by which something is gained. Logos is a word that exemplifies the utterance by which inward thought is conveyed.   Technology is a form of art that is created by using a rational process to generate a fresh means of order and transform energy, information, and matter to assemble the valued conclusions of certainty. When something is transformed with quality and rationality it isn’t wicked. It is a beautiful pattern in the creative process of knowledge. Yet it is still simple matter. Therefore the whole mind over matter struggle is becoming more far-fetched than ever before thanks to technology.

These days art and technology are not connected in any way with the matters of spirit and of the heart. People are willing to shut down their avenues of spirituality and suffer esthetically just to satisfy the materialistic monster that is hiding within them. What is emerging from within me is that this technological crisis is being caused by inadequate customs of distinct thought that are incapable of proper management pertaining the crisis. The only way to fix this crisis, in my opinion, is a new development of reason, or rational thought, that must be applied to the “stuckness” of humanity by way of technological advances. It is an expansion that must be made in the roots, and not in the branches. Therein lies the significant problem of the task ahead.

We have always been aware of most everything around us – shapes, colors, trees, or a perfectly trimmed yard. We are aware of all these things but we are not conscious of them unless something is peculiar about them. To be conscious of all of these objects would mean that our mind would struggle to contemplate with preciseness because it is muddled with heavy-handed clutter. Yet when we surf the endless intra-web of junk-ridden blogs, fake news, et cetera, all we are doing is drowning ourselves with our own smart devices. These devices are cluttering our own conscious with downright derogatory misinformation. This is the material that will revolutionize the fall of a civilization by it’s own idiosyncratic devices.

To be aware does not mean the same as being conscious because the procedure of choice modifies the decision based on rationality.


Let’s take a handful of sand from the landscape of understanding and call that handful of sand, the world. The sand represents the world of which we are conscious. Now our process of discrimination goes to work on the sand. We could symbolize the process as a shovel. We divvy up the sand into portions. This and that. Black and white. Now and then. We discriminate our own conscious into fragmented parts. At first glance uniformity seems logical. But the longer we look at the sand, we start to see how distinct it really is. Each grain is singular. No two are identical. Therefore it cannot be logical because there is no actual uniformity.

Let me reel you in back from the depths of where I just took you. I took you into the mind that is slowly crawling out of a crisis. I have lurked in the shadow of insanity for most of my life and as I find myself dancing through it with clarity now, my mind is traveling to its planned destination with more purpose than ever before. It is a daunting journey but one I am willing to take.

One of my oldest friends said something to me many moons ago. It is something that has stuck with me since. He told me that I thought way too much. He was right; I have always been one to overthink things. I have also spent most of my life thinking about the wrong things. All of this cluttered thinking of mine has started to come full circle. Now it is time for me to allow the ghosts of philosophical mysticism that have always haunted me their chance. There is no time like the present to put the head and the heart on their respective collision course. When these two objects collide with harmony that is when…


-Be Love-